In one word?...Unattainable

Billy and them are down at OC this week. It'll be hard to make it through without them, i kinda miss them already. We have billy and seven others in OC, carley and 2-3 others in hilton head, and diener steph and stace up @ penn state. Right now, we're running on a severe shortage of people. I miss them all...Look forward to a loud and meaningful welcome back in a week. You know, all my life i've wanted kinda what i have now. I have like people i can trust for the first time ever...People i just love to death. I cant wait to wake up everyday so i can see people i love and trust. Its a warm cozy feeling. Now tho, its kinda odd for me. I missed the part where the unordinary became some average and expected. Before, i get a call from some1 to chill, and i'd shit a brick while running out the door to meet them. I think i've become to much of the "Outty" type anymore. I'm never home anymore which is, and i didnt realize this til now, just weird. Almost seems wrong. People like jarrett who have been there all my life i dont even talk to anymore. HREHA HREHA doesnt drink, so i dont chill with him. Just kinda fucking stupid. Dont ask me where i'm really going with this...I just wanted to get it out there. Plus my 2nd grade teacher always told me that if i had a question, some1 in the room probably had the same one. I cant help but feel i'm not solo in this feeling. Like personally, i went from spending all my time staring at a computer screen doing nothing to going out everyday and being pissed when i was home. Tonight zack is having a hoo-rah which i'm probably going to attend because i love the kid. But like...I've just been kinda chilling here for awhile 2nite. Me, my comp screen and tower, along with decent speakers. And enjoying myself?...Its odd. Lately its been very much i can hang out with person A only if person B and C arent there. The list continues, i could make my own "person" alphabet with that. Annoying?...Somewhat. Makes me like think about how and when things are going to change. It wasnt always like this. I think its time for another switchup. Kinda?...I dunno. I think for now this is a farewell. So, Farewell. -n00bit