It might be time for a break
About 2 weeks ago i left the front door open. I should have just burnt it down - i would have gotten in less trouble. Night of the fireworks, i head outback to watch them with some friends. More trouble. Today i'm cleaning up from the basement, constantly taking trips in and out of the house with my hands full, and i leave it open. Logical, but still got in trouble. At this point i'm reminded almost daily of how completely useless i am. Its not big deal at all, i stopped listening a year ago. Bottom line is that me and mom are on the rocks, more so than ever. And because i'm a mindless dumbfuck teenager, its 100% my fault. It sucks living with some1 who is as mood swingy as a toddler. 18 is only a year away for me now. I've been sitting back more so now than i ever used to. I'm starting to see utter disgust among people i love. If i hang out person A, i cant hang with or mention person B, and if i'm with person A, person D E and F are against me. Its rediculous. How many rivalries there are among a group of friends. And its beginning to get real old, Real fast. If it werent for people like sunseri, tues, bill, and steph, i'd be willing to go with this purposed threat. When leaving for fishing early one morning, mom snapped. Said i was moving to ohio for a long while cuz i'm completely out of control. Going fishing - I hear u can get 25-30 years in prison...I really am out of control. In ohio my cell doesnt work, there is no computer, and my grandparents are kind of against too many long distance phone calls (or any at all, for that reason). It seemed awful at first, then i thought about it. My own mom wants me out of her life, which should say something right there. Who would i miss?... a shitload of people. Who would i not miss tho? Who would i be glad i'm not associating anymore with?...Perhaps a larger shitload of people. I dont know, its really made me think. Bill, Dowd, SHUN-seri, tues, and steph are people its hard to imagine my life without. But lately some relationships have changed. A few wont ever be the same. Danko and Krista. I know now that those two especially are hindered deeply and on the verge of extinction. Two of the people i used to care for the most gone. And as already said, My mom. I've just been doing a lot of thinking, as i'm sure a large portion of my current crew has too. It hurts to say goodbye and know that some friendships arent meant to be. In the next week, i have to decide (if the decision is left to me) if Ohio is something i want to do. Farewell. -n00bit
4 Comments:
you simply cannot leave. I know im not considered one of those dear people you will miss terribly, but if it helps, i would miss you quite badly. An amazing amount, actually, considering the short time we have been friends. But, yes, this entry made me want to cry...so, honestly, if you ever need to vent...im here. You have the number. :)
I'll decide for you: No you don't want to go to Ohio. You want to stay here with steph.. please!!
And if you go-- we WILL come to Ohio after you. No doubt about that my friend.
Much love and bluegills,
Steph
I dont think you should leave either! You'd make a lot of happy people sad noob, but it wouldn't be me! I heard you're comin to visit me at kent! smokin stogies! oh baby! Here's to doors and leaving them wide open!
nicci
Well n00bit , I will simply say if you go you will be deeply missed by all. In the few months that I have known you we have become such great friends. I cant imagine it being any other way. I love you buddy and you being gone for a month is simply to much for me to take. finally i leave you with this short quote " ..come on" -Fox
later - the one and only Tuessdaayy
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